Indian Ameri
Friday
The white dot in space
The last step in a steep hill is always the hardest to take, and being in one such situation (on the career perspective), life just becomes too complicated to remember friends and their deeds.
Too bad I've succumbed to one such complication.
Anyways, I just scanned and copied about a hundred photos from my hard disk for a friends wedding and it brought a deluge of memories. And I just wonder if an involuntary wall has built itself making me invisible to my old self..... Maybe I need to start filling my work calendar with words including "call xyz at 1-1:30", "read a funny article at 2-2:30", "plan to do an impromptu plan for the long weekend" etc....
And if you're intrigued about the title, I'm implicating that the tiniest white dot in space is in fact a huge very well lit star. Memories from the past have an analogous meaning....
Too bad I've succumbed to one such complication.
Anyways, I just scanned and copied about a hundred photos from my hard disk for a friends wedding and it brought a deluge of memories. And I just wonder if an involuntary wall has built itself making me invisible to my old self..... Maybe I need to start filling my work calendar with words including "call xyz at 1-1:30", "read a funny article at 2-2:30", "plan to do an impromptu plan for the long weekend" etc....
And if you're intrigued about the title, I'm implicating that the tiniest white dot in space is in fact a huge very well lit star. Memories from the past have an analogous meaning....
Tuesday
The Grudge
My niece is getting married and there is this huge shadow of family feud based hatred looming over her blessings. This makes me wonder if I am the only sensible person to forgive people for what they are and what they did. Or this forgiveness as compared to the elders makes me an idiot in this novel "live to yourselves" society.
Either way, I feel like a north pole being pulled to the south (North being good, south being the exact opposite, but in a more "wrath" kind of way)
PS - I'm still cryptic when it comes to expressing myself. Hmmmm.....
Either way, I feel like a north pole being pulled to the south (North being good, south being the exact opposite, but in a more "wrath" kind of way)
PS - I'm still cryptic when it comes to expressing myself. Hmmmm.....
Wednesday
Sleep the answer
In the past few months I have suffered from post-regular-day nostalgic depression, whose onset occurs mostly around the wee hours of a normal day cycle.
This nostalgia has altered the phrase "Life is defined by the choices one makes" to "Life is not only defined by the choices one makes, but also by the choices that were never understood to be considered as real choices"
And the only remedy I've used is 'sleep now and the morning would be bright enough to shadow the depression.' It has been working its magic.
But deep inside I've got the ever so lingering question, "Is sleep the only answer?"
This nostalgia has altered the phrase "Life is defined by the choices one makes" to "Life is not only defined by the choices one makes, but also by the choices that were never understood to be considered as real choices"
And the only remedy I've used is 'sleep now and the morning would be bright enough to shadow the depression.' It has been working its magic.
But deep inside I've got the ever so lingering question, "Is sleep the only answer?"
Labels: slumber along shadows
Saturday
And then there is the truth....
Few failures can never be a stone to be stepped upon for clinging onto success. They are just vast chasms of no recovery. Sigh...... The new city proved vital to augment the good nature of my funny attitude. Yet, the city seems too far lonely for the absolute truth..... And for once I let my shield down before the dawn brings in a new attire of strangeness. I wish I meet an enemy for once.
Labels: slumber along shadows
A bit of narcissism
At times, it is the most unexpected thing a person does at the most awkward position that defines his/her true character. And in several occasions, these times are the only moments when he/she understands one's profound character.
And.....
I believe for truth that I am queerer than most can ever imagine and it is keeping me elated. I do need this confidence for what seems to be the dessert for thought of defining the future.
Wish me luck for continuing this phase of confident approach.....
And.....
I believe for truth that I am queerer than most can ever imagine and it is keeping me elated. I do need this confidence for what seems to be the dessert for thought of defining the future.
Wish me luck for continuing this phase of confident approach.....
Labels: Narcissism
Wednesday
The Delicate Balance
What throws me off?
When a person close to me, in particular those who know every trait and bit of me, asks a 'casual' question in an attempt to shift the balance in favor of their 'presumed/assumed' efforts to change my commitment level in anything pisses me off the most.
And the above post is not a rant or an angry gesture. It's just something I discovered this week coz I handled the situation with at most calmness and a simple answer. :)
When a person close to me, in particular those who know every trait and bit of me, asks a 'casual' question in an attempt to shift the balance in favor of their 'presumed/assumed' efforts to change my commitment level in anything pisses me off the most.
And the above post is not a rant or an angry gesture. It's just something I discovered this week coz I handled the situation with at most calmness and a simple answer. :)
Labels: Contemplation, Opening Up, Optimistic criticism, slumber along shadows
Monday
Sigh but yahooooooo
Sigh.... - The one complex result, which is unique enough to define my PhD research proposal and greatly appreciated by the academic peers (both in publication and in conferences) is restrained from not making into the final dissertation slides.
Yahoooo - The above is because the result is so 'complicated' that even the two experienced proffs, one associate proff, and my external will not understand the depth of its 'simplicity'. This means, my analytical skills of reasoning and generating ideas to prove my theories with complicated results is one step over my academic parent mentors.
Just another feeling that I've really accomplished in my PhD.
:)
Yahoooo - The above is because the result is so 'complicated' that even the two experienced proffs, one associate proff, and my external will not understand the depth of its 'simplicity'. This means, my analytical skills of reasoning and generating ideas to prove my theories with complicated results is one step over my academic parent mentors.
Just another feeling that I've really accomplished in my PhD.
:)
Labels: Optimistic criticism, PhD
