Indian Ameri

Thursday

453 Woodland Ave - A Havenly Palace

Broken pieces of glass near my eyes when I wake up from the floor, the creeking door, the ever dirty stairi, the dusty mat, the ever inspiring balcony from which I notice the sunrise, the rusty exercise cycle, the fruloops that hang in the shade, the ever majestic tricolor, the morning commuters held up in traffic, the blaring UG's in their parties, of course the bikini neighbors, the jogging beauties, the ogling old man, the ever entertaining dog trainers, the dry paint breaking roof, the lazyboy which always was a treasure chest from which I got more secrets out, the cluttering cieling fan, the piled up closet, the ghostly back door, the basket ball trash, the golfy community trash bin, the empty fireplace, the bassy hall, the music trembling room mate bedroom, the walk beside the creech, the ever waving kids, the ever smiling chinese kiddo, the wellwishing creech teachers, the fat thermometer lady at the parking entrance, the jumpy grassfields, the beautiful fall colored columbia road, the gargantuan library side view, Big Ben, the modestly silent coopers one way sign, the giggly girls of the sororities, the memorable BSU, ofcourse the anchor which gave me the first scolding from an american citizen, the University presidents crossing, his wonderful garden, the sputtering water fountains, the road through the Chemistry dept, the slopy Funkhouser parking lot on which I rode my cycle without using my hands, the goodmorning Sam at the parking entrance, the 6 step robotics building which I always like to jump in one attempt after checking whether theres none to watch me do the crazy trick, the steps of Columbia which I always hate to walk with my bike on my shoulders, and of course loads of memories and happiness - I am going to miss everything once I move out of 453 Woodland Avenue to a new place.
My finest and the hardest moments in life has been in a time when I lived in 453 Woodland Avenue. I am proud to be a Woodlander...
posted by Hariharasudhan Cd at Thursday, June 28, 2007 2 comments

Tuesday

You're Beautiful by James Blunt

The lyrics of 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt.

My life is brilliant.
My life is brilliant
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

La la la la la la la la la

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I WILL NEVER BE WITH YOU.
posted by Hariharasudhan Cd at Tuesday, June 26, 2007 1 comments

Thursday

Big Ben - My soulful tree

I never saw you as a tree;
As for eternity I felt you and I were one,
Anchored deep in the earth of culture;
Your dream-branches reached high in the sky,
Broiled in the problems of the hot sun;
Gracefully danced in the winds of hope,
Experience gained, stood tall after the storm;
Refreshed our happiness with every downpour,
We grew strong without notice;
Prepared for each season,
Our hearts provided shadow to strangers;
Lauded as friends with our fruits,
Silent were we, yet chirping filled our silence;
Darkness shadowed every night;
Starry memories brightened our spirits,
You listened when my heart died;
I leaned at your heart when I cried,
You never spoke words;
But I understood that we were one,
Hopes of trust I gained;
From your rustling than from friends buzzing,
We stand tall, shadowing everyone;
Till our shadows vanish with time,
We are one;
We grow stronger without notice,
I grow; we grow,
To you my soulful friend;
Big Ben – I share my life.

- H2S (A dedication to Big Ben - the tree behind Youngs Library with whom I shared more time than any other friend. Thanks for everything Ben. It is time we did what we are supposed to do!)
posted by Hariharasudhan Cd at Thursday, June 14, 2007 0 comments

Friday

Am not a pauper


In the past 2 days I had 17 friends asking me if I need money. I didn't even lose any pounds in the last week (been sitting at my house doing out of academic work or watching cars crossing my street). Everyone suddenly seem to care a lot. I got calls even from Sydney, London and Aachen and of course from ol' friends and everyone seemed to ask me only about my financial troubles. What made everyone to offer me money is still strange to me. I had to talk with a sense of humor to make these caring friends worry about me and talk about their life.

I do not know if this is coincidence or not, I have my first Umpiring game this weekend. I had waited for this for several years. I had given some wrong decissions last year during our home game (was still a non certified umpire at that time) and had been working sincerely to overcome my errors. Last month I won the certificate with ULTIMATE flying colors.

Most of my friends started to find out that I had been planning for this umpiring for a long time, but not even a single person understood that I was doing it coz it is one of my passions. Everyone thinks that I do it for the money behind it. Whenever people especially those whom I consider as good friends say to me that I should get more pay, or spend the money on a trip or use to buy a TV, etc really hurts. Standing 8 hrs does not hurt my back. But sitting at house for no reason does and for a reason I am avoiding all friends for a while which soon shall be revealed. If I need money defenitely I would approach the right friends. I gave up a car, a long wanted camera and much more not coz I dont have money, but to use that money with friends and for friends in need. I am fine with friends not talking or asking about my passion, but I really hate friends who misunderstand passion to monetary gains. Saying that, I still forgive those friends coz I am still Hari..... Just in case, you don't do the mistake again, my passions in life are:

Photography, Chess, Racing, Umpiring, Flute, Painting, recently Poetry, Cycling, Mountain climbing, Forensics, Surgery, Friends and certain others.......
posted by Hariharasudhan Cd at Friday, June 08, 2007 2 comments

Wednesday

Mirrors of Fate

‘For the umpteenth time, can you put that out?’ yelled Arihant.
‘Sorry buddy! Din’t notice you passing by’, was the reply from Keshunath. Saying this, Keshu blew the smoke right into the face of Ari and laughed with his nicotine stained teeth. Arihant without saying a word, laughed back and in a lightning action grabbed the cigarette of Keshu’s mouth and dropped it in the nearby pool of rain water.

Keshu’s smile instantly vanished and he stood there for a while. ‘Why do you always have to do that?’ for which Ari replied with a concerned look, ‘It’s been 18 years that we became friends and yet you don’t listen to me. I care for you. Stop wasting your life in smoking and drinking. You’ve got Mitra to take care of’.

Though Mitra was the 6 year old daughter of Keshu, he wanted her to be raised by Ari, not because he was a bad father, but because he never wanted Ari to feel alone. Mitra was in fact the name of Ari’s wife who passed away a couple of years ago in a freak accident. After her death, Ari concentrated his life in taking care of Keshu’s daughter Mitra a. k. a Rudraveena. Keshu and his wife never complained about Mitra spending more time with Ari. Arihant had been a pious person, and was very religious. He never missed a religious occasion and even believed in Christ and Allah though he was a perfect Brahmin by birth. On the contrary Keshu was a complete atheist and likes to live his life based on his freedom of will.

Eighteen years ago, they met on a playground as rivals in a friendly game of soccer. Soon rivalry turned into a fervent quest for the right friend and since both had one common attitude of never give up in life, they ended up as best friends. They fought mostly about each others habits. While Keshu questions the integrity of religion to Ari, in return Ari questioned the necessity of smoking and boozing. Yet both were achievers in life. They were mutually amiable and blend in each others family as very own sons and brothers. They had been living together for the past 8 years in a mansion.

(The following story is purely based on fiction and bears no resemblance to anyone’s lives)

Sitting on the patio, while Keshu was smoking his 9th cigarette of the daily 14, Ari received his evening coffee from Samritha (Mrs. Keshu) and smiled at them. As the cigarette reached the near of the cotton bud, Ari heard something from the dining room. The rattle of the coffee cups, woke Keshu from his foggy bliss and both the friends rushed to the dining room. To their shock, they saw Samritha on the floor with the spilled coffee near the dining showcase with the telephone receiver dangling in a way as if it had its own life.

Thirty minutes later, Keshu, Ari and Samritha, all with a worried face arrived at the Children’s hospital. Mitra had fallen off the seesaw and had gone into a coma. Looking at Mitra through the glass doors of ICU instantly brought tears for Samritha. Keshu ran towards his daughter in a fit of concern, while Ari stood there in shock, looking at his reason to live lying motionless.

‘My name is Dr. Chopra and I am doing my best to revive your daughter of the coma’ was the statement Ari understood after standing outside the ICU door for a couple of minutes. The mirrors of these some minutes changed the personality of both the friends. After half an hour Keshu came into sense and realized that Ari hadn’t been with Mitra the whole time. He wiped the tears of his swollen wet face and with the sniffling he walked into the hospital searching for Ari. Finally he found him.

Ari was standing in a room greatly lit with focused light, filled with the fragrance of heaven from the dhoopsticks that was lit for the statue of an elephant. Ari’s eyes were gracefully following from the Elephant Lord to the Crucified Figure over the cross to the Crescent that was wall painted with the numbers 7 8 6.

‘What was I thinking? My best friend is praying for his daughter and all I did was mock at him at his beliefs.’ With that thought, Keshu kneeled in the room and clasping both his hands he prayed for the first time in his life. His heart said, ‘Please save my daughter not for me, but for Ari. I shall quit smoking and drinking if you can make my daughter play again in the laps of my best friend in a couple of days’

While Keshu started to believe the existence of God and went into the trance state of religion, Arihant had a confused mind and a raging heart. ‘You are just a hoax. You don’t exist in reality. Everything about you is fake. Everything is made up. I had been praying every day to you, asking for just one thing. Take care of Mitra and all you give the poor child is, an experience with death. This moment I am saying to all of you, I am burying all my beliefs in you, you and you and everyone else’ his eyes pointing at the deities with a fury.

A couple of weeks later, Mitra opens her eyes for the first time after her fall from the seesaw and asks for Arihant. Keshu though happy about his daughters return to the world, his heart is shattered by the fact that Ari had been lying down at the house drinking Makers Mark in remembrance of the happy moments he spent with Mitra.

Two months later, Mitra played in the lap of Arihant who mocked at Mitra about her dad going to the temple to return thanks for bringing back his daughter back to the world. ‘Forgive Arihant for giving up his beliefs. I pray for the happiness of my friend from the smiles of OUR daughter.’

It had been days that I’be stopped believing in God. For me now conscience is the best friend. I wanted to write this story as a poetry but I guess, I wanted it to be read by everyone. The original poem ended like this –

“While his belief faded like the shadow of saffron rays,
His friend’s heart gleamed with the Ganges of sandal”
posted by Hariharasudhan Cd at Wednesday, June 06, 2007 1 comments

Monday

'You'll never change'

This blog is a short story which I am dedicating to all the children I met in the Cancer Research Center. All characters and incidents in this story are purely imaginary.
Driving at 74 mph Arihant started to doze into a state of bliss. He heard the laughter of children running around him and jumping with their tiny hands stretching high to catch the candy bars he had in his hand. Their smiles made him happy. Slowly he felt of dark sadness filling the atmosphere. The blue sky turned into dark green curtains. All the children were sleeping in the array of beds silently. He saw angels carrying trays of needles and medicines. There was one bed were Arihant saw a women with overflowing eyes keeping calm to enjoy the beauty of her child sleeping for one last time. Arihant soon realized that he was in the Cancer hospital where he spent most of his past. Then he heard a slight beep which eventually started to blare. He dropped the candy in his hands and rushed to the bed on his side. The white nurses which he thought were angels rushed to the bed and started to talk in a jargon which only medical personal knew.

Arihant saw the equipment which made the alarm and to his confusion it was the pulse reading meter which showed 89. His mind was confused as he remembered that for a child the heart does beat faster than normal adults. He rechecked the meter and suddenly he saw something odd. On the right of the number he saw the alphabets ‘m’ ‘p’ ‘h’. His eyebrows arched, forehead folded, pupil widened, jaws tightened and there he saw the speedometer of his car racing fast beyond 89 mph and his head turned up to see that he had gone into the exit ramp.

Arihant stiffened, hands locked on the steering wheel trying to veer away the car out of danger. He made one mistake. He pushed the breaks too hard and the car rolled over in the ramp several times. It hit a food sign board and flipped over on the nearby grass. With agonizing pain his eyes saw the colorful candy bars glittering in the light of his broken car. His view turned red with the blood from his broken head covering his eyes. His vision narrowed and he became unconscious.

Thirty minutes later he heard faint sounds of the same jargon he did not understand in his dream. Slowly with excruciating pain in his head he slowly opened his eyes. The vision widened to see streaks of white lights moving like the lane streaks on the road. Then he saw the face of a man whose head was shining like gold in the passing light over them. Arihant tried to laugh seeing the shine on the bald man’s head. The doc asked him questions which puzzled Arihant as he heard the voice of the man but couldn’t see his lips move. All he saw was a green cloth moving like the lips of the doc. Slowly the colors became black and white and he went back into the unconscious state.

2 days later he woke up in the ICU to see the children whom he dreamt sitting with their hands on their cheeks. It was so cute, that he forgot his anesthetic bliss and called them using a child’s voice. Everybody smiled and ran to his bed and started shouting in a mayhem. Arihant was very happy and laughed using his 14 broken teeth with his breath whistling through teeth holes. Everybody were in a raucous laughter. Suddenly the lady in his dream appeared and she said, ‘Children be quiet and do not disturb your uncle. Now as he is awake you can go and take some rest.’ Arihant gave a pleasing smile to the lady and said, ‘How are you doing Mrs. Swami?’ for which she replied, ‘Not as happy as you are because I had to be worried over your life.’ Arihant’s eyes followed around the room and with a questioned cut forehead he asked Mrs. Swami, ‘Where is your daughter Hasni?’
‘Your friend is playing happily in Heaven with the angels who rescued you now’
Arihant’s eyes immediately filled with tears, but he stopped his tears from flowing seeing the other children showing concern.
‘Hasni is very happy children and she is worried that you do not take your medicines properly and that you don’t sleep on time. Playtime is only for those children who are good with the doctors and nurses’
All the children immediately started to run frantically and Arihant and Mr. Swami understood that they are going to their beds. Mrs. Swami laughed and she said,
‘You always have a way to make things out of even the worst incidents for these children’
‘I am sorry about your loss Mrs. Swami’, he said.
‘She wanted to see you more than me before she had her sleep’, she replied with the voice of concern.
‘I wish I had been beside when she needed me the most’, with a croaky voice as his tears flowed out instantly.
‘She is watching you Ari and she won’t be happy if she sees you crying’, saying this she wiped her tears.
‘OK leave it. As you were brought into the hospital, the doc asked you some questions. Do you know what you said to him?’, she asked with a tinge of smirk on her face.
‘I don’t remember, what had I done now?’, Arihant asked with concern.
Mrs. Swami smiled and replied, ‘When he asked you if you had any allergies, you mumbled…’ ‘You have a ground over your head. I don’t see children playing in it. I am allergic to such sights’
Ari replied with his whistling laughter, ‘That’s definitely me there’
Mrs. Swami continued, ‘The doc laughed along with the other nurses and asked you if you are diabetic for which you mumbled…’ ‘I am diabetic to the sweetness of others laughter. I am running low on sweetness now. Can you move your facial apron and smile?’
Ari felt a pain in his stomach and that was caused of his laughter.
Mrs. Swami continued…, ‘Then the doc encouraged you saying that you won’t die for which you replied…..’ ‘I know it’ ‘and then you became unconscious.’
Mrs. Swami stopped laughing and asked Arihant, ‘The doc said that you were very confident when you said that you knew you won’t die. With a broken spine, multiple fractures in your right leg and 4 broken ribs and a puncture wound, you were a little over confident. What made you say that?’
Ari’s face became calm and with a glow in his eyes he replied, ‘I wouldn’t have died that moment coz I was happy that moment. I shall take the sadness which fills the eyes of these children and certain other men to my grave. But I shall make sure that they have a happy sleep.’
Mrs. Swami’s eyes were wet, but with a curve on her lips she said, ‘You’ll never change.’
‘If I had changed then the world would never be the same’, Ari replied.
Mrs. Swami shook her head, ‘You’ll never change, you’ll never change’ and she tugged the sheets over the shivering body of Ari.

3 weeks later, Ari sat near the bed of Rocky who slept peacefully with happiness filling his face. Ari kissed his forehead, rubbed Rocky’s hair and said, ‘Play good my dear 6 year old friend. Say hi to Hasni for me and don’t forget me’
posted by Hariharasudhan Cd at Monday, June 04, 2007 1 comments

Friday

Quest.....

For the past 3 weeks my mind is trying to tell this world a story which my heart stops me from doing so. All I can say now in this existing mood of mine that I am good and I am concerned much about others feelings. So I keep my story to myself. Yes I have friends to express, but words stop at my tongue. The walls of concern block my expression, the fakes of laughter fills my face and the curtain of confusion fills my mind..... I miss Hari a lot.... This is my story, a silent life.....
posted by Hariharasudhan Cd at Friday, June 01, 2007 0 comments