Jus sayin Bro....
** A message to the future Hari
I am usually not this guy. But, I know the deepest, darkest reasons for why I feel that I've just changed the next half of my life due to what I've failed to achieve within the past 18 months of my life. Far by any means, today and that too the last half hr is when I desperately needed a friend in all the entirety of my life...
Here's the time travel message to the future Hari:
If you are still thinking about what you failed in your PhD years, then also think about the things that made you fail. The most important thing is, you never used a situation for obtaining your results. You never forced an answer towards success. You were completely original in your attempts. You always respected the ideals and principles associated with the goals in pursuit. You screwed up things, but you always bounced back just to get screwed more. And it was not 'entirely' your mistake. And finally you learnt from your mistakes and did correct yourself and never tried to prove that you've changed...... Go on, continue with what you are chasing new now. Remember the moments between when I wrote this and where you are now, that had to be fought harder to keep this guilt in you living. Remember not to forget what you learnt from these mistakes. Remember not to forget what you had left unachieved in your life changing years.........
And always Remember to forgive yourselves. You've tried your better and now try for the best in everything!!!!
** - Everything's personal!!
Errs N Furrs!!!
The Passage Interim: An experienced amble, pushed the legs towards the end of the center lane. The sudden pacing up of the country truck flashing an indicator like a raging bull at the matador pushed my foot further into the next lane. A few microseconds of blankness later, a gust of exhaust hit my face and I blinked in reaction. A few steps across the next lane and finally climbing the other side of the pavement, a strange pain seeped into the skin. Blood started to sparkle in the summer sun and that was when I understood that I was actually brushed by the van that just crossed from the other side of the road. Unlike most men, I have plans made in the most extreme situations. Situations of ending up on an accident in a car. Plans of where to find my phone, which speed-dial number to use, whom to call one last time, and what to say? But, this incident, which composes close to 0.1% of whatever accident I imagined, gave me answers to my plans. There is no way in living hell that I can make the particular phone call. And that my friend, is not an easy thought of last breath.
The Disdained Secrets: Just another insomniac hidden night, and the ding of a concerned chat box fills the ears of music. A puzzled reaction from the message from a distant friend made me instantly dial home. A direct question of concern was greeted with an answer of silence, followed by dad's apologetic voice. A detailed query of the issue shocked me about the intensity of how serious mom's health has been and how stupid of them to keep it a secret. A few more hours spent on consoling, brought into light the life of the forgotten sibling, and a six month long no conversation nephew. Realization struck, being a support and becoming a burden of support is no longer first person. One does not plan to ask for help or help others. And that my family, is a genuine error of human evolution.
(The above post is incomplete......)