A definite keeper
3 a.m. Wednesday night - I've never been this excited in listening to a simple yet profound song. (Youtube video unavailable. This might well be the first song I would buy using itunes. By the way, the play button is on the right side of the link window. :D)
But it's complicated!!!
8 p.m some day - The final leap edging the pro's fist by two fingers on the fissure had its pat-on-the-back, a log sheet of mind over matter and a pile of supportive suggestions dropped over my head by the blond instructor.
3 p.m on the weekend field - "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!!!" and the stolen 'bye' of the fumbled first slip off the very first ball, a six of the very next over, God-speed pushing between the wickets, a few more chaos induced on the minds of the equally talented opponents, an hour's work of seniority gave a final belief that possible impossibles are the true miracles in life.
2 a.m. on the steel roads - a ear to hear, a mouth of memories, a batallion of pollen, a chapter of the book, and a dream of the one eyed mute carved the fear of hope.
1 a.m on the wretched Friday night - 4:19 minutes of Blazin dozen wings, a vision of the candles, pool, and a quizzical game, 4 liquid cocaines, 3 tequilas, 2 three wisemen, 2 draughts of Heineken, a response high of zipped lips and a rapid-chess victory, good food of self-mastered hyderabadi biryani, and a morning of non-dehydrated simplicity undermined my expectations of a second attempt to craze out at high state.
12:30 a.m. on a self-cursing Saturday night - A 8 people tag team push into the melonfest'ed Deja-vu on a self-contemplating walk, a fourth time strip club experience extending a little over two hours due to the first time non-designated driver details, a couple of dancers hitting on the only 'zero-lap-dance in all 4 strip club experiences' from $5 to free, a chivalrous offer of drinks to the semi-nude ladies proving the gravity of mindset, the octaves ogling on the sudden gathering of semi-nudes at the conclusion of melonfest, octave leaders eventual notice on my zero count dances, $75 walleted out of the remaining octaves and there I was picked, carried and dropped for my first ever lap dance - which turned out to be 5 girls at a time for two consecutive songs. An awkward situation of the new touch-phone vibrating as the caucasian girl danced, a later look at the call history showed dad's cell, a friendly chat of the night to dad (alone), and an eventual walk on the steel roads for the lost opportunity from the fidgeted phone early in the day plugged my sleep.
2 p.m today - Ketu Marshall's call asking me to help in his creativity. An one hour hurried up wake up of all coopers, the team's arrival, a look at the $4000 profitable Crown Victoria, an initial volume to count calculation, an experimental trial of 10 guys in the front seats, a sweaty rehersal of 10 more in the back seat, Moti's bf's positive attitude to suffocate for a cause, and a final push of 18 guys of all sizes into the 6 seater crown victoria soon to be added and to be spread via youtube sung the happy moments of a students life.
Minutes before - I, noticing the word A$$hole from the ever good Huggy Bear proving the disappoinment of not making into Div I coz of a partialized result from another games result, half a dozen calls of broken hearts from hard fought team mates, finally settled into my last season of cricket bidding feelings.
Many a thing happened in a short span of a few ten days. While most proved to be interesting, exciting, happening, and changing, a few guiled its way to the mindless original heart. But, in these few days and a month of interesting life, the one feeling that ebbs deep down the vast chasm of solitude is the success to prove that I am failing to achieve goals in all areas of life, at least to myself!!! Guess 'disappoinment' is the guised 'fear' of life.
(Funny, the background soundtrack of Life is beautiful (But it's complicated) from Sister's Keeper keeps coming every now and then after this)
There is a certain sense of blankness filling the void of disappoinment!!! Is it good temporarily or is it bad permanently?
A Puff of Happiness
- First of all, I am very (raised to the power many) happy coz Jay (the grandson) had his ass whopped by Hari Sr.! :D......... Jay wailed, while dad continued his attempts threatening him to eat his food. As suspected, mom cried looking at her grandson crying. =)))))))))))))))))) I missed the drama for sure.... Imagining the exact way the facial expressions might have portrayed (dad's anger starting from his brows, Jay's face turning pink first, even before the waaaaaaahhhh, and mom's glistening stare before the flood gates broke), has been amusing my way out of good work throughout the day. :D
- Was it the 'too young to act' reason against my two uncles, and was it the 'not the dominating of the two siblings' disadvantage against my brother, I don't know, I never was able to take a stern step towards controlling/making them quit smoking. With both uncles' 9 lives evaporating to lung cancer and hell frozen luck towards my bro, I guess I am too late to act now. Today out of the bloom, a random request from an addictive friend to buy him cigarettes, a walk with the resuscitated soul, an empty camel menthol box on the pavement, and a laundry drenched $5 in the reserve night pant - an idea sparked. The next few tens of minutes might in fact be an unusual attempt to help this friend out - even if it's for a few days. If controlling someones life is what I am sadly said good to be at, then I guess it is time to harness the character for a better cause. If you're a believer, then pray for him to quit faster. If you're a realist, send me some money, coz I am the one who is sponsoring his cigarettes from now on. :D That's the deal! :)
- Seheri song is really lifting my mood up. Unbelievable lyrics. While the male voice focuses on the reality of 'only' the current moment, the female voice throws light on the 'need' for futuristic aims/goals.
Rock, Paper, Scissors
This weekend, I witnessed something forgotten. Not 1, not 2, but a lot counted till 14, years later, for the first time, I observed the sharp edges of a silvery SCISSOR work its skill through the striated teeth of a brown comb. And black curls (not that dense :D ) fell over the drapped white slope, which eventually at times started an avalanche of flocks that dropped onto the shiny marble floor. I was all Jay* this time and the artist** loved my reaction to my own attention (**considering my property expanding scalp - trimming the black lawn is definitely an art :D). With the glass-thrown-to-trash makeover, my interests in profound observation over simple happenings have increased. But I forgot that things like the haircut, the bottom of a pool/ocean, the microcosm of micron sized eye-squeezing dust during a 60kmph ride, the distant silhoutte of a rain clad figure (yeah! figure! So what? :P), chill winds and the white precipitation of the American winter, and a lot more of the unexplored/forgotten events still remain at its dormant/infant visualization. I can't wait to witness the next event that would blow my hair out....
Off the Kutch and the Chik:
- Do I look like a guy who would do things 'anonymously' to someone I know? :o - Even if it's a social donation, I'd go with my full name - coz that's the only way I can pull in more of my friends (who believe my judgement towards an organization/person), for an overall increased service. Seriously, Knowing me! I don't go for anonymous comments or even calls. I ain't that cowardice.
- Talking about anonymous calls, I was made a mega fool yesterday by my funny ex-roomie for using this and calling me with a fake caller ID of a person from whom I don't expect a call anytime near the future.
- The sibling rift though not expanded is still toiling its way into the hearts of mom and bro. Should I become the 'all did villain' and give into the cause or should I just remain the 'mute hero'? (Though not bugging my senses, this cold hearted sensation might prove too hot in the future. Hmmmm.... )
- Hari Sr. showed signs of first contact in questioning about the distance I show to his wife (Errr... 'mom' sounds better than 'his wife'), but stalled coz of his guilt of not stopping the feud when he had the opportunity to do so.
- Interestingly Jay learned how to play with the phone, and is 'hold'ing, 'mute'ing, 'yelling' (not an option in the touch phone) and of course doing his usual routine of 'hang'ing whenever I call home.
- Been ROCK to this (mp3 version sounds good; ball dancing with a pipette in one hand and a centrifuge tube in another - Rey looks, laughs, and mocks :)) ), that, jogging to this, and losing to aahaaa! (Long live Yuvan and whoever wrote the song). Need to listen to Kaminey after this post.
- And finally, it ain't that hard to get up at 6 am and work in the lab from 7:30-6pm and sleep at 1 am. Two more days, and I'll be one week into the routine.
- From Impact Factor of 6.2 - 4.8 - 4.3 - 3.2 - 1.5 my PAPER is trying to down my spirits. My call on it - I've gone beyond the fact of even thinking about its existence. So tear it and burn it. One more reject and I would qualify to be in the league of Lincolns.