My Villain Side
PS - I was lambasted by 6 people in less than 2 hours for two things - Me going "Screw You.. Find your own apartments :D" and rubbing Muahahahahahahaha on all my Cooper Friends... Call me Cuckoo, I don't care. I'm having the best mood after quite a loooooong time...
Roomie: "How the hell did he get her the dress of exact fit?"
Two Jrs in chorus: Yeah! How come?
Me: (huh???) (with a serious frustrated face) He goes to the mall, points out to one of the shop workers who has a near/exact physique as the heroine does and well....... "Did it answer your query?"
A similar scene from last week:
With Johnny Carino's Clois du Bois evaporating faster into B and T's brain cavity,
(after a 'one thing leading to the other and then to another' sequence of discussions)
T: Muhahahahaha, (slight snort of a laughter pausing the crowds attention)... Hehehehe... If that's the case M(e)ATE (he sucks at his Australian born European raised tongue), this is funnier.
B: Hahahahaha! (wobbling his head into an expression of the jokes funny mate) What?
T: What's the point in having zippers for women pants?
(I, and B's gf give an expression of "Where did that come from?")
B's Gf: OK B. Enough with the wine.
B: (Did something which looked more like a 'coochicoochiwoo' attempt to me than a romantic way of saying 'Oh, am sorry baby') Just curiousssss. (definitely this snake is the cause of the extra bottle of wine)
T: (laughing uncontrolably from the moment the question was shot) Yeah! Why?
B: I don't know... do you? (looking at his gf)
(Me - uh oh! Should I dive in with the simple answer and stop this nonsense? Ah! 'W' word.)
Me: Coz it's easier to remove the pants (with a pitch indicating that I've had enough with these drunk idiots)
B and T: (smirking more idiotically....)
B's Gf: (Either her face turned red coz of anger or blushing. I prefer the former)
Me: Ah Come On! Stop smiling your perverts. Use your head. Think you can remove your pants without the zipper open??? (There. That should bring things on to the intellectual note)
B and T: (Drunk people do show clear cut facial expression and this time I saw the expression of serious thought and then...) Hmmmm.... You are correct.
Me: Enough wine for both you guys now.
B's Gf: (a brief short smile ....)
There are certain moments in my life, when I go frustrated over stupid questions and answer them with a blunt attitude. Most times the answer is taken well and understood too. But quite often it showcases me as a perverted fellow. In those moments I think, "Can't even a zero watt bulb glow over the questioners heads?"
On this pretty interesting note: I don't know why most people consider one's keen interest in studying the "Momentous" evet of the person to that of "judging the person". Interestingly even close friends do not see the thin line between my funny side of thought for the moment to some blokes way of judging people for eternity. A simple tip: If someone gives a serious thoughtful expression (marked by a frown) - it means, they are judging you. If someone (crazy to be similar to me) gives a smile/smirk/even a short snap of sound - it means we are not judging but are just being amused by the momentous event. Surprisingly I am not in the murderous mood of quoting, "I am sick and tired of people judging me as a person who judges others". Instead I am wondering how most people still need to evolve from the pretentious life of calling themselves evolved. (That makes me different.... Ain't it? :D )
No! I did not lose my marbles (before or after the head ramming), but I decided to go smart on a cricket helmet purchase. The youth baseball helmet is a perfect fit, awesome view, light weight, well cushioned, ear holes for better audio, great hold strap, and a beautiful iron faceguard; exactly needed for the game of cricket. The one thing I had to check was its compatibility towards a 90 mph fast ball. After the blublualubalubaluba, my shaky inner guy yelled, "Ta Dahhhh!" I just saved about 50 bucks by purchasing two helmets for the team. Go Treasurer.
2. One pretty lady's license returned using facebook search, a sign up for a bone marrow walkathon and a potential future donation, a strangers request to hold his wild dog for a minute (the bull dawg sound :D ), and a lending hand to a bench exerciser whose chest was being crushed by 120 lbs - all in one day. End result - I was freaky, waiting for the equilibrating sin to occur.
3. An about 16-20 month hiatus phone call from one of the (seemed to be lost) best buddies of all time in the middle of a one of a kind world musical ensemble, partially taken. An hour later, when the Calcutta grown 'dude of the century typo guy' recited "Naan Saaptundirukiren" in his unusual Tam Brahm mother tongue, I couldn't resist laughing on the pavement. Half an hour later when he ringed back, I was the one delivering the "Buahahahaha! Now I'm the one having dinner". Two more sets of unpicked phone calls exchanged between us, and then by mutual ESP both decided to quit calling each other for a while. (Good news - I know that he is alive and vice versa.)
4. Atleast a dozen people in a span of 2 days enquired about my graduation date :o !!! Had an extremely strange session with an India departing friend. Although, he was several years experienced to me, both answered silence to the questions he shared. My POV - Asking the wrong person Doc! His POV - Right person Hari! My soon to be departing (when :-?) funny roomie named me, "Harie!" His reasoning - I'm the sand nigga amalgamation of Barnie, Charlie and Joey.
(16 hrs after I started the blog post)
5.6.7...... Errrrr..... I forgot a few interesting things that happened the past few days... 'W' word! Next weeks on the board.... Guess it's time to write the title of this post.... hmmmm.... brainfreeze....
Under Preparation :D
I am already starting to see such situations emerge with my nephew. Although, it feels funny in a sitcom serial, in reality - it also does feel funny :D. Guess, I need to prepare myself for more such situations.
Out of syllabus: Today, I worked an hour and half on my paper draft sitting under a tree (My laptop battery lasts longer, real longer - for about 'just' 90 mins). Ended my moonlight (although it was cloudy) work mood lying on the grass (nice weather) listening to only this for about a dozen times gazing at the sky searching for stars among the light laden city lights reflecting from the cloudy space.
Teri har aahat ka chup chupke peeche peeche aana,
Mujhe tanhai mein tera ek lamha de jaana,
Shayad yeh lamha bhi phir khuda ne,
Tere mere milne ka socha hai bahana, ha AAAA.....
....... A lot
Standing on the track of a bullet’s unknown ricochet, as the broad amorally intrigued greenhorns riveted their unsullied and uncertain young eyes on me, a sense of fidgeting doubt flourished deep from my grey matter. A sense of distressing emotion of the insidious months, accompanied by the ‘sighs’ of the plausible blatant future, tightened a few fibers on my muscles as I waited eagerly to get the sensation out of me. A few seconds later, as the guys cheered and jeered in fascination at the white quaffle sailing past the bottled boundary, I realized not that I had bettered in the game, but that, for a moment in the love for fright – in ‘phobie phyllus’, I succeeded in achieving blankness in thought and heart. Six hours later, with a man-of-the-match 43 of 34, a lightened retirement from captaincy, a few muscle spasms, I was relieved to coast back into obscure normalcy with a new partner of two wheels in travel.
A tired feet’s huff and puff cramped up an arc of an effort from the lower back, as I enjoyed the cool breeze of the late-winter’s-evening-dream, hitting the parched eyes, inducing a certain sparkle of a seasons-tear from the right eye. With Soft’s, “Can’t get no rest… Now you really got me HIGHERRRR” plunging a relaxed resonance into a thoughtful smile at the occurrence of a long sought sunset, I flashed a few smiles at the oncoming curious traffic. With the bat bagged as a quiver of momentous lucidity, and with the physique pumping out a few calories at the cool breeze; forging the pain of confusion into a sun-setting reality, I’d guess, I’ll be much more satisfied in bicycling back and forth the practices and games than being with the team during travel. (It’s interesting that a few things of solitude shunting do go beyond points of isolation).
A quarter hour tired floatation on bed, listless and slightly annoyed par amuse, in half sleep by the whispers of a faintly audible self set divine blues of a bio-alarm, set the next few minutes of a slumber shadowed dream. Paused the phyla of whirling into the whorls of memoirs, I showered hot, soothing the pangs of the non-psyche and hitched a boyish walk to return an untypical book to a friend of mine. Though I watched the screened version of ‘He’s just not that into you’ alone, I never understood the real reason for my friend to offer me the book version penned by the writers of a female based audience. Although I went curiously dallying around by her imprudence, I managed to read the whole book in a period of about 3 weeks. She spent a major discussion on the aspects of the various virtues of relationships as enlisted by the authors. Finally, with some prior laugh riot establishing the vividness of exemplary confusion in any relationship, she and a few of her invited friends, decided to call me the ‘Bones - King of the lab’ and confirmed an editorial position for their imaginary book penned as “She might be into you”. :D
A two month hiatus broken finally by the availability of a common friend, led to the meeting with Jay finally. His sullen mindset of missing me, made me wonder the things I too missed from isolation. But then, the news of his extended stay in the forthcoming India trip with his grands, my parents, led to a sequence of jittery discussions of comfort with the family as such. By the end of the comfort I had to provide to a ‘gonna miss my kid’ dad, ‘is it gonna be safe for my kid?’ mom, ‘will he be okay in India?’ grandpa, and ‘will he stay with us after you go?’ grandma, I realized, that I have a sour crack to whiff out from the clutches of my family to live Charlie’s life. Don’t know if it had been a combinatorial effect of me watching “Two and a Half Men”, my plans for the future and my nephew’s three month visit to India, I day dreamed after a low slept, highly detailed meeting in my lab. The dream in brief was a modified version of K2H2, minus the heroines, plus an 8 year old Jay with an IQ of 200+ trying to set me up. Sheesh! Of all the movies my brain can process, I got this one??? :o
As the ticker went past a full 3 hours of 200% concentrated work, I lost track of my playlist reeling shuffles of new songs even under rambunctious conditions. But then, a sequence of words from the beginning of ‘this’ jolted me from my iron cushioned rocker and I checked my back, if by chance I lost my sight too in concentrated work. A slight smirk followed after the songs realization, and after transferring concentration towards the music, it was time for me to take an invite I’d been avoiding for a while. With the ipod repeating the jolter, I decided to walk the next 3 miles for an invitational lunch.
After the initial surprised welcoming, Dr. Zizou (:P) had let me deal with his wife. While Mrs. Zizou had been a friend for nearly 3 years, I haven’t met or spoken with her for nearly half a year. With the Zizou’s expecting their first born in 9 weeks, I’ve clearly directed her prenatal second trimester hormonal anger towards my absence from their family gatherings. The end result was a lambast of anti-cathartic words shot intermittently in sarcastic tongue at me, a few grunted puns back at her (while Dr. Zizou was giggling like a girl at the way I rolled high), a feast mostly fasted (only by the two men) for the mothers cravings, and a really hard hit of the kitchen’s largest wooden spoon on my knee roll. ‘Ouch!’ I cringed in pain. A few seconds later, I and Dr. Z witnessed the wailing of Mrs. Z. While it was quite usual for Dr. Z to witness his wife have prenatal tears flooding his shoulder, it was a tad too confusing for my pain reeking brain. A brave lie of “I was just joking” turned into a pathetic attempt to stop her crying, as she whacked again on the knee roll. An aggravated “Stop hitting me! I was trying to help you” finally put some sense in her head, while Dr. Z rightly dragged my limping ass out into his car and drove me home. Mrs. Z decided to offer me the position of changing her daughters diaper as a token of truce. :)
And finally as I walked for work today observing the newly sprung white flowers, Mrs. Z’s collection of pianos struck my ear. While I loved the note of piano matching, “You don’t know me, and you don’t even care”, a few back-from-migration birds cuckooed on a scale high enough to be heard through the ipod’s earpiece, a back-from-hibernation squirrel and a hopping rabbit paralleled out with my walking steps. And then in an instant everything went strange with the song pacing up to blare. That’s when I checked the title of the song, got surprised and thought, “……………..
Boogying with Rey in excitement of getting more than what I’d asked for, via tax returns, I ended up attending the anonymous phone call. A minute later, I started walking with 50% more than my usual pace to reach home. About 5 minutes later, I, my roomie and a guest of us was helping me out, to pick things of importance. We trashed the things unnecessary. Then with a citizen smile, I bid farewell, and said “Thank You” to this old muscular grandpa who drove away in his truck along with my stuff.
Inside the house, I separated the quarters from the dimes and the dimes from the nickels and dropped them in the respective shot-glasses of piggies as the Turtles happy’ed together. A sense of normalcy shadowed me quite long enough after this and I decided to hitch back to the lab. My funny roomie was strangely caring and sober as I wore my shoes and started to the lab. The electric music rolled away to a cool fusion smoothie in the new warm weather. Things went usual. Then came the law building crossing and I stood there waiting for the traffic to tend to zero. Like the usual, I waited to cross the road without even minding for the red hand to show the green stick man. I saw more cars, more traffic and then it hit me like a meteoric anvil. I walked besides the summer smooching teen couple in a disturbed state and sat in the Lextran bench.
For a few minutes, the world just passed as I realized that I’ve returned my car once and for all. Although I was ‘acceptably’ prepared to give the car as means to save money for future studies, for concentrating on current studies, and a few surprises I need to throw in a year and two; somehow I fell stampeded by its loss. Pressed 2-8 in the speed dials and never allowed the call to patch through. But then, finally I broke down and spoke to 9. She consoled me the same ironic words I gave the night-before she sold her car for her marriage reasons – “It’s all for good. You are not selling it coz you are in debt. You are doing it for a better future.” She even added the (now non-meaningful) last statement in the series of consoling words I gave her then – “Here’s my keys. Go for a long drive.” I gave her a smile and cut the phone after thanking her.
Three walk signals later, I regained posture and snailed out of the location. As I walked the next two minutes, I was caught in a web of memories, I shared with Mach7. 36K miles covered in a span of 15 months – that’s about 600 hours of memories. I was doomed to go gloom. But then, I saw a guy holding a 5’ scale as I crossed him. I realized that I am in the way of the architecture students who do their land measurement studies. The next 30-60 seconds was all about sneaking past the laser beams of architectural syllabus maze. As I crossed the last student, I had a smile of achievement. With the same smile, I saw Rey back in the lab, and said, “Hi-fi Rey! Just gave my car for good” I hi-fi’ed the blank faced Rey, and went back doing my work.
I guess what I’d go through in the next few months, would govern the effectiveness of this decision.
And as I was about to post this event, Rutsy calls me. He just enquired if I can lend my car for his driver’s test for tomorrow. How ironic? And now the random playlist has Rihanna going Shut up and Drive!! I just looked at the ceiling of my lab and said to the so called God, “Nice practical joke. Now go screw Yourself!” And now am laughing, as Rey still continues his blank look at me. =))
Hahaha! This is all a BIG JOKE
The real title I initially had for this post was "Duryodhana" instead of the Comedians words from the Friday premier of Watchmen. Which by the fact was watched by 19 guys who all by fate/destiny were dragged into a movie which they hated, while I loved the ending, and decided to crucify me the next time I call anyone for a movie. :D
Oh Yeah! Duryodhana! .............
And I ended up watching the ending of a Turkish movie named "Edge of Heaven" ............
The ending of the movie somehow keeps me stuck to the current Duryodhanic state of mind ..... As the Comedian said, "Hahahaha! This is all a BIG JOKE"
This is the concise of the drunk-state-high post I hic'ed up.
About five days ago my parents ended up visiting my cousin-grandson's (Don't ask me? Coz I never understand my relatives and their relations) wedding in Hyderabad and had a chance to do some relationship concreteness. While dad being the youngest among the surving 4 siblings, and goes cushy-mushy and cuddly with his eldest of the sisters, mom still continues to be that "ideal" sister-in-law/aunt/grandma/great grandma/etc (how many names for a single person), making sure that she is a Chirra by nuptial. And quite often comes the usual talk of "How'z your eldest son doing?" But now, with a few past family trips in the States with the new generation of governing Chirras, there's an added statement of "Heard/Saw a lot of Jayanth! Jayanthi/Aunty/Grandma/etc, you should call me when he comes to India." etc related to Jayanth and his cuteness.
And finally, about me, well! You all guessed right! It's a curious case of Hari Chirra in my family. Most often it starts with the cliche question, "What's the youngest doing?" (Never ever they ask "How'z". Sheesh!), and a simple truth of my current work/aim generally throws the Chirras off-guard. I've somehow fall into the category of, "The exemplary kiddo"
The reason I had to self-elate myself (which I do most often to survive as a fitt'est' :D) now is to mention a really funny incident I had with my dad. Being the next in line (in terms of age) among the herd of cousin-sons, cousin-grandsons, and among the three cousin-siblings of the Chirras, the game of peacock dance starts against my parents. And somehow all the cuddly cuddly mushiness gives my dad the youthful flare of being sarcastic. This was from Tuesday's discussion with him. :D
1. "Hey Reddy! Blah blah blah... My daughters doing Masters in Comp Sci... Blah blah blah" (Ended up with an offering). Dad - "Oh No! Too bad! My son hates Computers in general!"
2. "My old friend! blah... You remember XYZ? His daughter ABC should be the right fit for your son". Dad - "My son's pant doesn't fit his waist. Let me wait till he puts on some weight" (You wish dad! :D)
3. "So CVB! Whens your sons marriage?" Dad - "After your daughter's marriage, I'd suppose" (He just threw the guy in the gutter)
4. 78 yr aunt - "Dear Bro! When am I going to see my nephew's marriage?" Dad - "Sis! Next Feb 29th for sure" (Nice one dad! that's 2012! :D )
5. The best snub! "Reddygaaru! (Shines some bling bling) We're gonna start looking for a groom for my bro's eldest daughter. Blah blah blah... Do you know how much my bro is offering as a dowry?" Dad - (Gawd! This guy is blinding me with his bling blings. How the hell am I gonna tell him to get the hell out of my sight?) "No idea" The other Yu(n)ckle - "Two crores!!!!!!! (Big pause and then of nowhere) Interested?" Dad - "Has your bro had a tax raid before?" (and then dad used the opportunity to blast at him with some sincere threats about tax raids, while on the inside he was smiling all along)
Wednesday during the reception: "Son! It's going crazy here. What's your say?" "Dad! You know it ain't gonna happen that easy! Have some fun. Who knows, you might get a second job of a marriage broker :P" (Mom pulls the cell from dad as he started laughing and) "Chachi! Dad saw a girl in the train and he liked her. He even asked me about her? But I din't. Anywayz! You remember ******? She is back in India after her MBA. She was showing interest in you a LOT. She told all the things you guys did in the family trip. She loved Jayanth too"
"=)) First of all, she's committed to %%%%%. You remember the Atlanta trip? I hat to patch things between them. :D Secondly - Who doesn't love your grandson? He's got your name. Right? :) "
"Oh! %%%%%! Nice selection by ******! (and then recollects the same name - grandma-granson statement and goes greave) Everybody missed you! I missed you a lot! I missed you sitting beside me, shouldering my tired head and making your aunts and paternal fathers and their families laugh with your 'naughty' stories."
Me - (Uh Oh! Don't cry now mom! Change the topic) "Met Aikiya? Isn't she cute?"
Mom - "Oh yeah! She is the most cute among all Chirras. She sat over my lap and told about how much she loved the milkshake you got for her that night. Sniff! Sniff!"
Me - "Now, you don't cry in the reception"
Mom - Sob! Sob... and then came the flood
Me - (Crap! The genes from mom!)
(2 minutes, all I heard was sniffles, cry cry and more cry) (Then... I heard my 2 aunt's voices, Little Aikiya's concerned voice followed by the queen of Chirras, her sis - Kshema, three more cousins involvement, a few more known relatives attempt to chill out mom and then finally Dad :O)
(Then Kshema took the cell from mom, and the game of passing went for another one hour and finally back to Dad)
Dad - "You missed the Drama! Hehehehehehe"
Me - "What were you doing standing next to her watching her cry till the end? :-x"
Dad - "She was beautiful! And I waited for the family's reaction to her crying"
Me - (Aaahaaaaaaaa! Need to learn a lot from the old man) "Beautiful when she cried! WhaaaKaaay!! Ensoiiii! Tell mom later that I miss her too....... Actually! Don't! I am not giving you the opportunity to see her beautiful tears again. :D "
Dad - "As you say! Bye"
Me - "Bye. Call you later when you reach home"
Hours ago I called my parents from my lone Denny's visit and all I heard was mom's non-stop narration of everything and everyone in the wedding, and the slurp of milkshake that went into my hungry tummy. Although I am happy about my decision to stay here and work on some PhD issues, I wonder how different this marriage would have been if both I and Jay were there. It's that one rare opportunity to be in the family that I rarely get a chance to be with.
And today, I had the #1 Irony of life, inking the iota of the biggest '?' of my lively phase. All I did in the lab tonight was "my first night doing Nothing"
From the day I understood what siblings mean, I always ended mentioning up to my mom that I wish I was elder than my elder brother. Somehow, I always wanted to be a big bro to someone and it turned out that I can't do that in this lifetime to my big bro. Interestingly, I was called as one by quite a few great people. And to balance, I've been picked by some interesting elder women to be introduced most often as "my cute small bro" (I never understood how I was considered cute by many. Anyway back to the point...) In lead time, I got off this hook of dreaming of even meeting a great guy, whom I would really be with as a big bro. But I was greatly wrong.
Well, before we even go into the name of the candidate who finally became that small bro of mine, let me clear out some weird questions that might have generated from reading so far. What was that tiny difference, that special difference, that deal of closeness, that differentiates a "FRIEND" of a younger age, with a guy who could really mean a younger/small bro. Well, looking back at my last couple of years, the word 'tiny' just became big.
The memory pages flash a great deal of scenes with this guy. But the one regular pattern that happens every time in our bonding is this.
1. He first pings me in chat or calls me asking if I'm busy or sleeping?
2. (Once I say Naah) He asks if he can come to me and sit beside me?
3. (Permission for being with your friend? Not my ideal) He comes with a bright smile equal to a cats smile, and stands around. Then his face loses the spark and goes dull.
4. I pat on the space where he can sit so that I can see him as he talks (or even take my mind off other things that's not as important as this moment).
5. He sits, but not talks. But, I always love him doing the scratching the back of his head wanting to force a load of details, but is trying to concise it in a few statements. (I smile at this act)
6. Then I need to ask, "What's bugging you?" and then the rest is "Yo! (Small Bro) Chill Out!" talk.
Well, this version has a load of variations, but it all adds up to great time with him. And of course what makes it different that he is just not a guy trying to open up only to a pretty few. Well, this bugger knows exactly when things are wrong with me. And most lovely of him is that he seriously tries to help me out. But my act of some courageous self recovery statements always makes him 'give up' on me (for which I've been sorry inside). Guess, that's when I slowly believed that he is the guy who would become my 'ideal' small bro. There are a lot of things that we did and we did not do too, that transformed our friendship to this bro thing. Although I believe, friendship is the highest relationship one can achieve between two people and siblings don't share everything, somehow, I see both the friendship and sibling relationship to work great with this guy.
Too bad that I am going to miss him the most as he leaves to India for good. He had been in the thick and thin of my 'interesting' life so far. He is a well sought friend all over my university community for his goodness. He will be missed the most by many, and of course a few hearts would break too :P .. But, somehow I am happy that someday he is going to make us all proud coz of his dreams. And if he feels beaten by the world, there's always me to pat my side to signal him to sit and chill out and re try his efforts (coz he will win for sure, no matter what).
He taught me the difference between the words "Problems" and "Issues" and I still follow is once-random-freakish statement "There are no problems in life. Only issues" I'll remember that da Nick! Good Luck with everything. My wishes for you as always.