Indian Ameri

After teaching the real way it is supposed to be, I looked at the bystanders surprised stare. The questionable nod about the reason for the stare brought back her reply, "Seeing a ten year old in you all the time, I sometimes forget how good a father figure you really are." The immediate nautanki brought a dejected facial transformation and the comment, "And the ten year old is back again. sigh...."

The short sprint back to the occupation was long enough for an anonymous feeling to set in. And I knew instantly from the single past experience, the perils of an open book.............. Things will be the same - "to keep things different" :)

Little failures of life, little guilts of taking choices, little messes in promises, little reminders of the forgotten past, little memories with meaning, little falls in thought, and little more of the many faults that define us make us believe that we are only humans.......

Knowing the existence of such profound simplicities make us look like villains.......

Still continuing life make us believe that we are in fact Little Heroes.........

Whew.... With 8 out of the last 10 weekends being spent on trips and holidays, the self-posted work load (substantiated by the drop in the interim chat history) finally gets a break for some normalcy in the atmosphere tonight. Anyhooo, before the title of the post is outlined briefly, a few things I noticed in the central vacuum of the concentrated work hurricane are

1. All with the exception of just I (me/I, who cares!!), say that with 3 papers, 1 book chapter and a technically sound batch of nanocharacterization and synthesis methods under my belt; I am all set to go good with getting a post doc position. How come I'm the only one remaining over-cautious/over-achieving? Difference between Idiotic and Craziness is to be outlined.

2. Every significant step from the academic/career perspective of life (right from choosing Engg/Medicine, under grad Alma Mater, jingling job/wise grad apps with their subcategories) brought its own pre-goosebumps and post-air punches. Heck, they even came with their scares of a foggy destiny with a road lesser than less traveled. Although, I (/even we) went through the heat, the past now seems to be passed like a sharp knife cutting through soft butter (the heat being the accelerator). What seems different of the so called one more big step in life from its predecessors is that, the new one has a "relative deadline". There is no specific date for a final exam/interview call/visa date/24 hr crisis meet as such. Either I can set a deadline and risk getting into the big schools or extend my plans and glee out into the famous work achieving schools. A relative deadline relative to my (including personal) requirements is needed urgently.

3. With points 1 & 2 nearly zombifying me into a serious workaholic (for paltry reasons of "This might well be my last chance to see what's important for my career in life"), I've decided to take things the simple and effective way - Chilling balances working (Time to boost that chat history back to original averages with some catch-up). So, here's a new attitudinal blogpage - I see solitude in observing a distant destiny blocked with an upstream-effort-needing ocean. Solitude gives rise to my planning.


And now for the real reason for the post - Switching from career targeted life to diagnostic personal life: (With the sibling and his family starting first conversations of settling in India once and for all, I'd got nothing to loose)

Statement A - I found the right girl......
Statement B - I also found, that I am not the right guy for her.....

Situation - Both statements were used (in under a couple of minutes) at both my parents during their two different 'quality-time-on-the-phone-with-son-alone' times.

Stmt A brought a great deal of grief to mom, while dad was all excited (and proud too :D ).....
Stmt B brought extreme sadness to dad (marked by a minutes silence), while mom had a transition from "I am sorry" concern to "I still have a chance to find him a girl" hope.... :))

After a day of leaving them alone to talk among themselves, I used statement C "It was all a joke :) " to curtail their plans to give me some space.

Now the real question is, The joke's on me/'em/the joke?


Here are a few tunes that seeped a flood through the dam of concentration
1. Once by Caleb Kane
2. Honey, Let me sing you a song by Matt Hires
3. Stockwell Road by John Matthias &
4. Aunana Kadana from Leader

The last decade was all about, "What am I"*
And
The new decade is all about, "What can I be"**

(*Change is an inevitable but slow process. Adaptation ain't.
**The wrath of freedom lies in the flexibility of failure)