Indian Ameri

$ Paan (1 sec pause), Paan (1 sec pause), Paan Paan Paan..... (no pause)$. Blearily I opened my eyes coz my ears were tormented by my old cell phone (which currently is my alarm) with the Paan sound. I reached it and set it in snooze mode. My broiling eyes suddenly noted something strange. ‘Oh my God!’ it’s 10 a.m. My knotted body bolted upright and that’s when I felt this sudden pang of pain in my left thigh. This is the first time in 8 days (that’s how Americans praise some event which has happened several time but still say ‘it’s the first time in some many years that this has happened’) I woke up late (Yep that’s me! The Lion has awoken). I limbed to the restroom and looked at the mirror. Compare the reflection with that of a bull dogs sagging skin. My face was swollen and it said to me, ‘Hey buddy you need more sleep’. Completely torn out by last weeks work I hesitantly went to the kitchen for a coffee.
Had my daily doze of anti-soporific in the name of ‘home made frapuccino’ (Yep I found a homemade recipe for the ice coffee) and after my bath went straight to my closet to choose my dress. As my hands brushed through the queue of pants my thigh panged and I tumbled from my bed. Caught hold of one of the pants and after I caught my guard I noticed that the pant had a hole in the lower leg region.
Being a fan of CSI is real addiction as my mind immediately went to work about the pants. Thought some 20 possibilities ranging from sulfuric acid spill in my lab when preparing piranha solution to aging of the suture of the pant. Crap! I decided to take some other pant and to my surprise it too was torn at the same place. Scratching my head looked through all my jeans and presto! Every jean was torn in the right lower leg region.
Lost in the mystery, I worked through all permutations and combinations and finally came to a conclusion. Wore my pants, walked to the balcony, looked at it. Staring hot at it my hands reached the spurs of my cycle gear. I noticed that on the right side there was this screw which bolsters the pedal. I had this villainish laugh and took the can opener from our kitchen draw and came back to the balcony and banged the screw. Yep it was a can opener and not a hammer coz we Indians improvise on whatever stuff we are given with.
All this tearing caused by my bike. Spppgggttt!!!... I was careful to avoid anymore damage to my pants. Reached my department and while I was parking my bike noticed these two young gentlemen having a puff of marlbro wearing jeans torn at their knees. A smirk came in my face and I walked past them shaking my head. Came to my lab, had more pain in my left thigh and that’s when I realized I had more than my pants torn out. I guess I torn out a bunch of fibers in my left thigh. Cleared my desk and ‘tore out’ all unwanted papers and bills.
Next time you see me with torn pants don’t ask me ‘what happened?’ just pretend as if you like the style…… J. PS a strange fact about torn pants – Levi Strauss & Co have patented the torn pants style for a whooping $300 million. Strange world eh!....