Indian Ameri


Casual Casualty!!!

As the view of whales playing in the ocean seemed enticing, I jumped from the cruise and as I hit the chilly waters, I heard the background of the AT&T ringtone la la’ing and I woke up from my slumber to answer the call.
“Hi Hari. This is Pam from Cravens. My owner saw your Mazda standing on the parking lot, and it is against rules to keep a totaled car in the residential parking lot. He called the towing company and they are going to tow it by tomorrow. So if you want to do something about it, you need to do it by tonight”
My sleep deprived mind took some time to even think ‘Huh??????’ and after a long pause I mumbled, “Hey Pam! I guess this is the umpteenth time you’re waking me up and warning me about the towing. You never do it and I would appreciate it, if you can tow it by today. Thanks and have a great day” and I hung up my phone.

Sadly, the car still remains in the lot after two days. With all the materialistic issues turning out to be vanishing in the dust, my level of seriousness is going to the drain. Last weekend, when I got caught by a cop in Cincinnati for over speeding (81 in a 55 zone decelerated to 57 in 2 seconds), I and my room mate just gave him the warmest smile he can ever get on a cold month and were left with a warning. While my past experience made me go fury over the mistake, this time, we were cracking jokes while the cop was checking my license history.

On Monday, when I was about to return my rental car, I found it missing. A few investigation of the location turned out to be pretty crappy. I parked in a spot where there was no yellow line, but somehow, that part of the curb was so low that actually the guy living in the nearby house parks his car in the grass field surrounding his house. It took me less than a minute to accept the mistake, and give away $70 for the towing company. No hard feelings was what I had.

Yesterday, while my advisor came to the lab after 5 pm, he saw me chatting with my room mate. Instead of even pretending to work, I just put my favorite song, increased its volume and kept on listening to it. Though I did a lot of work the entire day before he came, it wasn’t supposed to be like that. Then we discussed a lot about my research hassles and prospective plans. My heart felt great once I gave him what I felt about my doubtful decisions.

Yesterday I promised my dad informed me that the traction isn’t helping his slip disc to get back in location. While mom expected me to freak out, I and dad shared this mutual confidence on his health and we chatted friendlier than ever. I ended up even giving him a promise of not biting my nails anymore if he promises to stop mopping the house every morning.

Today, when I noticed that my keys fell from my fleece jacket, that too in a dark place, 20 miles away from Lexington, at 3 in the morning, celebrating a friend’s birthday, I felt a little relaxed. I had this strange thought, that my friends would be assuming that I was faking it to freak them out, and that sense really made me remain casual till I found the keys. While I usually put a lot of thought behind a birthday greeting or quote, this time I wrote the first thing that came into my mind.

I called my part time employer and told him that I’m quitting the job today and gave him my thanks for helping me repay most of my debts. Since I’ve casually came to the level of mentioning about my part time employer, I guess it is time to put the word out. I worked in a BP station for a paltry $5.5/hr for a while. “A While” a word which might seem long enough for most of my friends and my family (I did mention it to my parents yesterday though I knew that they would be dejected on this fact), I felt it as a grain of my earthly life, where I learnt a lot about dedication, hard work, calmness of mind, and above all what humans are really made of. With my 3 months of high ranking successful work back in India, and several months of labor work here in a gas station, I learnt the nuances of how to enjoy work as it comes. The one thing I learnt from this short period is every human in the world be it a con, a thief, a drunkard, a nurse, a manager, a priest, all have a heart which loves to smile all the time. While I managed to call my intention of clearing my debt as ‘Filling Tranquility’, the true sea of tranquility I filled was the multitude of questions related to life and its sheer joy.

Soon are the days, when my best friend leaves for his job, my brother and nephew shall leave for a better future, most of my friends graduating and departing for a prospective growth, and a lot of other petals withering off into a larger tree, and I remain alone on the pistil of life. With the series of new events teaching me infinite lessons, I am feeling self belief (instead of the usual self confidence) to melt the anvil that life is going to bring for me.

I am at the last pages of a phase of life, which has groomed me into a person I am now. While I managed to make at least a few hearts cry in joy in this phase, it is time for me to give some freedom for myself. I am glad that I’ve grown mature enough to accept life as it comes.

I’ve casually grown into a casualty of accepting life as it comes!!!!
posted by Hariharasudhan Cd at Friday, February 08, 2008


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