My heart was smiling at these sights, but my mind was questioning the integrity of my reasoning for believing 'why these sights make me merry?' I needed that light, that essence of proof, and I got answer for my question from my very own echo.
A few months ago, I used the sentence 'Be happy. Everything bad happened in one day. At least it didn't happen over the entire period of the week. You can be cool tomorrow not worrying about things might happen. You'll just realize that yesterday was a bad day' to a friend of mine. A few days ago, I called at 2 in the morning to a warm huggable friend of mine and made him not to delete his orkut account.
Well, two days ago, I saw him, with his unlikely haphazard pony tail luring as a bait, pulling me in to his physique, where he was busy pulling a seemingly ton of trash from the fourth counter. The cigarette fell off balance and he burnt his hand. Yelling in agony, he gave one final heave to the trash bag and there I witnessed a deluge. Thanks to the crying lords, and some lunatics idea of dumping Old English beer in the trash, he was drenched with the shivering stinking liquid.
It wasn't mercy this time, that made me go to his help. I guess it was the free half a gallon of gasoline he allowed me to fill my car with, or it was the half a dozen free coffees he gave me free at my night outs, or it might be even his stylish pony tail, that I approached him.
With the beer and mugged out trash reeking a stench of death, I decided to reconsider my decision to help him out. Instead, I stuck on to, 'Guess it's been a bad day!'
'Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (as if he was letting out his final breath before gulping the stench from the mess) But it's fine. Tomorrow will be back to fun'
I felt a slap hit my face. The next few minutes walk to my place would definitely be the best two minutes of my life. There are a few advices which I don't follow myself and this incident allowed me to fit in the most important parameter of my self evaluation. With things swelling in sight, I swallowed my glut of anguish and incomprehensibly preposterous thoughts and started living life with a new step advanced.
While retirement, seemed harder than failed love, the knowledge of experience helped me start back into life. The effect, a call from my advisor to my apartment and we discussing a conceptual theory of an analysis over the phone (which never seemed to spark my memory before), the huggable friend calling me at 10:30 as I was about to have my power nap and thanking me for the simplest of the favors I ever did, a recovery of the self developed short hand notes from the game book, an unbelievable meeting with the new comers in the cricket group, and a great sight over my future.
I feel the same spark of successful confidence as I had before I gave an affirmative to my dad before moving to Chennai, before I took my IIT exam, before I erased my answers from the Bio Entrance, threw the Biotech admission letter, gave up a few colleges as I entered Anna Univ, took my first podium in gokart, gave up the many softy interviews, took my GRE and TOEFL, and most of all giving up a hefty salaried job in pursuit of PhD. Three years it had been, three long years and now I feel back to the state I entered the States. My decision over my future - career and personal seems legitimate and heart filled perfect.
The past is out there, the future is destined, and now means just now for me. A few realizations has made me start my introduction to my new book on life. It's rocking time from now on.