Indian Ameri

Tuesday

The Wooden Fence

"You are one emotionless guy" was what my funny roomie called me just for fun as we browsed through some random you tube videos.
Was it Nostalgia of memories that haunt me the most, I decided to pull up my pants and do call the one person I messed up big time with. For a person who rarely remembers his house number or his own phone number, it turned out to be pretty hard to squeeze out the 10 odd digits to call her. Fortunately after wasting a couple of tens of green bills on a series of numbers, I did get hold of her.
Yes! It was NOT the simple "Hey dudette" or "Guess whom" or "Hello, this is Hari. Remember me?"
There was enough friction in the breath of my pause, that I had to hang up the first time I heard her voice. A few gulps of water, and a few minutes later, once again I faced her "Hello". A straight apology for the things that happened and changed the course of our lives, set the tone up to the comfortable level and I was there talking with her like I always used to do.
A minute later, I decided to ask her about the one guy I never should have messed up with. Her immediate response was as shocking as the news I heard about seven years ago. After the call, I pulled up my comforter and slept two hours on a stretch and spent the rest of the day in sleep and stuff that never meant to occupy my mind.
Yesterday after watching Rock On, I lost it entirely. I've grown truly emotionless. I lost a mentor, a believer in me, an equivalent brother, and foremost a great friend and I've locked my emotions too hard, that I'm scared of myself. I've got no place to run and I've got no one to tear upon. In fact, I'm turned into this cold hearted guy that I don't wanna even think of crying or wanna think of the incidents that turned my life into what I pursue now. I am no man I used to think about in the past. I am nothing of what I wanted to be. I don't know what I'm going through. I don't understand whenther it's pain or avoidance or cold bloodiness. I just wish that I cry sooner than I can imagine about.
"What's the point in living if you can't die enough for your dream?" - Sid
I am sure you lived enough to keep your dream living. And as I've said to you before "You started it first. But, I'll finish it last" :)
Rest in Peace da... I'll miss you da.
posted by Hariharasudhan Cd at Tuesday, September 02, 2008

3 Comments:

yo ma nigga... u rite ma nigga ;-)

3:18 PM  

I dint understand much of it and wotever I understood of it I do not wanna type it out here...so is this person whom u r missing no more or did I interpret it wrong?

11:34 AM  

Whats this post in ? Swahili ?

cant make out a thing

12:30 PM  

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